Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
