where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The best revenge is premature balding
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
