I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
