i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
