That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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