When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
