I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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