NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
