Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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