We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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