Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
