i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
