Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize