She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
