quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
