just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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