You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
