I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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