Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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