i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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