I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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