Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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