I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
