I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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