Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
