I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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