i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
