Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
