The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize