2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She announced her abortion via fbk
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize