you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
