You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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