Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
