I don't think brook has ever known best
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
