the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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