just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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