We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
