I bet he comes in French.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
