I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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