my phone needs a breathalizer
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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