At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
