All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
