No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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