would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize