Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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