Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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