I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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