drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
