I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I want a musical about memes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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