my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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