On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
