Pappa wants mamma naked
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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