I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize