too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
