READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize