so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
