Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
