She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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