Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
