I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I fill condoms, not promises.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
