Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just pee around me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
