Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
