You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
