the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
