a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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