"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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