Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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