You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
