In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
