Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
